D&D West Marches 008 - Lifeowners

It's been a while Since Bridges was back into the fray, but this time he's a fat level 6 and got access to like 90 third level spells thanks to magical secrets. Also there was a part 7 but I never got around to finishing that because apparently it was too top secret.

Adina Liadon, Warlock, Level 6
Alexia, Lore Bard, Level 7
Vanamo, Nature Cleric, Level 7
And stylishly late as always, Bridges Rhinestone Jr, Lore Bard, Level 6

The adventure was strange for Bridges. He had met up with the rest of the party and everyone was willing to just hop on out to the road without really saying much. He decided to halt that travel for a little bit to figure out what the hell they were doing, what anyone was going to do about vampires, and what they even knew about vampires.

From the information he was able to recall, Bridges knew a bit about vampires and what to generally expect, but he was as new to vampires as he has been to a lot of the other shit creeping around out there. But everyone else sounded confidant, though they didn't sound too confidant in their confidence, but whatever let's just go.

After traveling for a couple of days and eating the rations of Alexia who had enough to spare, they eventually reached a small clearing of woods next to a nice little stream of water. They had decided since it was late at night they should probably rest. Bridges picked up a couple of handy spells since he last hit the road, so he put up his handy little party tent, which was actually a hemispherical dome colored pink(Leomund's Tiny Hut). It turns out almost everyone else had access to those spells so everyone had their own domes. Bridges dubbed his the "party dome" and since no one was allowed to see inside of the dome, for all they knew, that was absolutely true.

The rest didn't last for long though as someone immediately saw some of those creepy vampires(and zombies) creeping around in the darkness. Bridges doesn't have dark vision so he can't see shit, but once it was made clear danger was around, he was ready for action.

He was able to pop invisible and leave his dome, hoping the invisibility would aid him in the assault and allow him to position himself better, which it thankfully did as the vampires were too busy picking on people they could see. Bridges was able to walk into the friendly Tiny Hut of Adina, the Warlock, and he waited there for the vampires to move in and allow him time to bust out his Lightning Bolt, but had a little difficulty as people KEPT GETTING IN THE WAY, which resulted in the untimely demise of Adina's familiar as Bridges didn't really have too many options but to blast the vampires and kill the familiar in the process. No one was really bothered by this but progress requires sacrifice so there was no avoiding it.

After a couple of this Lightning Bolts the Vampires(and also zombies) were on their last legs and before long they were all defeated. Before combat was over, someone had seen an odd image in the distance, as if a house with legs was moving closer towards them, before setting down not far away in the darkness. And just then a dress-wearing clearly-a-vampire lady appeared before them, offering an invitation to her home, adding that she moved it closer to them to not be an inconvenience.

Bridges had used some inspiration and 3rd level magic, and was also tired since it was goddamn midnight, and also did not want to be anywhere near a vampire's home while it was dark, so he wanted to rest and tackle this problem during the day, but the rest of the party didn't want to inconvenience the vampire because apparently while Bridges was last adventuring everyone came together and decided to take bad guys at their word. Also Bridges wasn't entirely sure that these fellow adventurers weren't afflicted in some way to make them immediately trust these creatures, but as Bridges would soon learn, forward-thinking was not an ability these adventurers had any capacity to do.

And so the party proceeded towards the home of this apparently pretty powerful vampire. They walked into the house and it seemed quite large, and soon it was revealed that no one had any interest with inspecting it, causing them to trigger the first trap they came into contact with. After discussing amongst themselves how to be a more appreciative quest for their vampire acquaintance, Bridges had to, somehow, be the person to stop and say "No, guys, why don't we actually LOOK where we're going before we do anything?" The place was clearly trapped and the fact that Bridges has thrice been the voice of reason was the indicator that something was night right. I mean, Bridges has been to some strange demiplane carnival where death apparently doesn't take, so he's seen strange shit. But this was on another level. These people were so unconcerned with their own safety that they were the direct opposite of murderhobo. These people were downright lifeowners.

So, Bridges attempted to do something he's never really had to do, and inspect for traps. Wouldn't you know it, being careful once again saved the day as Bridges found what appeared to be an arcane glyph, which was clearly a trap. Adina was able to assist him by dispelling the trap successfully. With that trap detected and relinquished, the party got back to doing what they did best and walked into this new room and immediately started pulling shit open and triggering another trap.

By this point Bridges was certain, so goddamn certain that there was something wrong with these people. Maybe they've never been on an adventure before? Maybe Bridges has been tricked and these people are all nightmare demons sent to feast on his soul by that fucking Cambion I swear to GOD I'm going to find that bastard and make him pay for what he did? He couldn't be certain of this. All he could be certain of is, after carelessly walking into trap after trap, and not ever stopping to think about their actions, Bridges had to step back and let nature take its course lest he ends up dead as a result. Adina for the most part seemed to join him in this, by stepping back alongside Bridges and let the other two go off on their own. And it's a good thing these two did as well because something even stranger happened during the course of being in this home.

Alexia, one of the individuals so inclined to be sincere and quite forthcoming with the vampire lady, started talking non. stop. shit. to the vampires. Constantly. Don't know what happened but apparently there was a switch and it got flipped. Okay. Bridges didn't really know what to do with this, so he did his thing and before long battle had begun. Some big hulking vampire guy came through a door with a huge greatsword and big armor, and was eventually followed by a vampire spawn and the big bad vampire lady herself.

Alexia never wasted a moment to talk shit, constantly drawing the ire of the vampires in question. Bridges did what he did best and Heat Metal'd the big metal wearing man, causing his attacks to miss, and even canceling out a particularly nasty critical hit. Adina and Vanamo kept the fight going by Eldritch Blasting and Spirit Guardian-ing it up.

The battle raged on for a little bit before the big vampire guy went down. Vampire Spawn was giving Alexia the business, and the big bad vampire lady was suddenly casting some serious magic against the party, almost killing Bridges before the realization that he still had some temporary hitpoints from an inspirational speech in the form of a violin playing.

After taking a breath and also a superior potion of healing, Bridges was back into the fight, though low on spell slots. Alexia was being bitten and having her hitpoint maximum decreased bite after bite, which was leaving her closer and closer to death. Still she insisted on talking shit, and eventually had her hitpoint maximum reduced to zero HP, killing her instantly. The Cleric had used all of the slots required to cast revivify, thus Alexia was lost.

Adina was grappling with a Vampire Spawn that just wouldn't fuck off, so that took some effort before they could give chase to the big bad vampire lady who can now cast powerful magic. And after some time the 3 remaining party members managed to defeat the spawn and had to rush after the remaining boss. She was evasive and still seemed to have a lot of magic left in the tank, which the rest of the party was at a disadvantage for not having rested and gaining 100% of their power before they rushed into the house. But they had to push on with what they had left.

Trying real hard to get crafty, the party didn't really have a lot left to do, having to rely on Adina's Eldritch Blast and whatever the Cleric could do left. Bridges had 2 spell slots left ready to use, which he had wagered one would be a handy dandy Dissonant Whispers, and the other a clutch Cure Wounds if it came down to it. But thankfully it didn't come to that as Vanamo killed the vampire and saved the rest of the party from having to put up with the bullshit of running around the forest at night. Or dealing with the house that can apparently fucking WALK.

The party scouted around and found some loot in the building, some of which was gold, some of which were items that may or may not have been intended for someone who just totally died. The Warlock talked to a god(?) and as a favor Bridges' ring of inspiration storage received increased capacity, now being able to store two additional bardic inspirations, which was nice.

Bridges has seen it all. Murderhobos, Lifeowners, walking houses, people who refuse to look for traps to save themselves the trouble of wasting spell slots healing when they could just try to avoid them all together. But that's just Bridges.

My name is Ryan. I like to play video games and Dungeons and Dragons and all kinds of other cool stuff. I also like to write. This is my website, it's nothing special, but I write about topics from time to time that probably make no sense. But if you think they do make sense, then hang around and check out some other articles. My friends call them "blogs" but goddamnit I've got a URL and everything, so they're "articles".

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