D&D West Marches 001 V2 - This Plan Will Fail

Never trust a bitch with a knife. Especially when that knife is a sword.

This adventure has us following our newest protagonist, that of one Githyanki Barbarian that goes by the name Danzig. Danzig came to Sigil to hide away from a past mistake that will no doubt haunt him until he decides enough is enough and he must face it. Until then though, he's poor as fuck and needs some more power.

Zaerith Danzig. Zealot Barbarian.
Orpheus. Fiend Bardlock.
Ji Shinoba. Kensai Monk.
Sengo. Horizon Walker.
Sam. Bardlock.

The adventure started out as many would, with someone lying about their intentions to get a group of relatively experienced murderers to go somewhere and murder someone. This time the intentions come in the form of someone trying to clean up the Hive Ward of Sigil, which everyone knows to be a monumentally meaningless task as the Hive has been around for as long as Sigil, and no effort has ever gone beyond getting stabbed in the ribs and dying. But more on that later.

The group decided to independently do some leg-work when researching this criminal organization, the something something Horizon something who operate out of a tavern in the Hive Ward. Several individuals managed to find key information which would allow them entry into the location. One being where they hide their back door key, one where they found that the gang offered refuge to those from a now-dead plane of existence, and saying the name of the plane at the front door would allow those safe entry.

So the group gets to the location and are excited to bust some heads, but the individual in charge of this particular operation has specified that they intend to do this with no bloodshed. The thorough elimination of a rival gang and their headquarters is to be done with no bloodshed. So, everyone basically said that, yeah, this isn't going to fucking work the way you expect it to. So a couple of them start scouting around the back door of the place while the rest stood in front and just kinda did stuff I guess.

Eventually the two came from scouting in the back and ultimately the plan was put into motion to try and trick their way by mentioning the dead plane. It didn't take much but Orpheus managed to convince the stupid guards to let them in, much to the dismay of Sam, who was very upset about not being able to be the one to do the convincing. But regardless, Danzig was very sure when he said to everyone that "This Plan Will Fail". Though, honestly, people weren't that convinced that it wouldn't.

So they arrive into the tavern. It's shitty. Run down. Everyone seems bored. The guards are stupid. They never ask for our weapons. No on looks like they've ever done any amount of criminal underworlding ever. Orpheus speaks to a bartender and informs him that there is a plan for those to come in and cleanse the Hive and so they need to all ally themselves together or something. So in a way they already technically abandoned the plan so that didn't really last very long.

The bartender mentioned the boss was busy, so they could talk to the second in command. So they agreed. For some reason Danzig could tell this second in command was a total bitch from the way his two bitch nips looked. But anyway. He immediately offers the group an opportunity to murder the boss and that the second in command will help him. Literally everyone in the world questioned the validity of someone being so forthcoming but decided, eh, fuck it, let's go with it anyway.

They were given free reign to explore the place and then immediately found a secret door that led to a lot of barking. Danzig wanted to check it out but the half-naked-crazy one decided to explore around and see what was up with this place, and so the group meandered. They walked by a door that had a rancid smell behind it, and after the others walked away Danzig decided to look in and found a man surrounded by freshly dead bodies, looting them. After wishing him good luck, Danzig shut the door and moved on.

What he moved on to was that of a sparring session between two of the half-orc guards who invited Ji to join in the fun. Before long, however, the sparring had broken down catastrophically and Ji was on the ground fearing for her life, some Tiefling with a crossbow showed up looking to shoot a bitch, and we had like a half an hour to wait for lunch which was when they were to go murder the bossman.

It was a total clusterfuck that led to really nothing productive and in the end made Ji look stupid. But apparently it was lunch time and the boss was waiting for us to suspiciously murder him in a plot that he definitely doesn't know about. Everyone is lead to the room, they all stand around looking suspicious except for Orpheus and Danzig who are apparently like "eh whatever let's fucking chill". The conversations get started between Orpheus, the one who definitely doesn't want a lot of bloodshed, who definitely likes the shedding of blood. Communications broke down a little bit when Sengo decided to light the boss man up with a couple of arrows to the heart. He was still alive, and so the second in command decided to try and help out by stabbing the bossman, thus activating the trap. However, he also turned around and stabbed Danzig, who was seated right next to, which was the first and last mistake second in command would make.

See, Danzig was a Barbarian. Danzig carries a big sword. A sword so big it could cut a man in half. This will be relevant later.

People start pouring through the doors and attacking poor Sam and Sengo and filling them with various leads and steels and irons and making their life in general a mess. Danzig is getting his shit pushed in by a second in command that doesn't want to fucking die, and Ji is failing at doing her Ji thing just as much as she is succeeding. Thankfully she was kind enough to leave Danzig a healing potion to counter the fact that he's about to die, which he takes advantage of in just a few moments.

The fight carries on and people are starting to look rough. Danzig is tearing away at this guy and he's just not dying, until Danzig finally reckless attacks hard enough to cut him straight in fucking half, thus putting an end to his let-me-stab-you-three-fucking-times-holy-shit-fuck-off-i'm-fucking-dying-god-shit-fuck.

The others start to push off their current foes too. A crazy hoe with a crossbow shows up and nearly kills Sam, but quickly runs away when she realizes the tide has turned against her. Cue Ji running after to put an end to her crossbowing ass just in the nick of time. And after that, the fighting had ended. The group managed to go through the rest of the facility and search through the place, finding a sum of gold that was split between the party, and some neat magic items that they would definitely find use for in the near future when Ji forgets she has a potion of poison in the heat of battle.

Also they found some slaves or whatever in the basement that may or may not have been converted to indentured servants by the "new management" which made Danzig feel pretty confident that he'd just have to come back and murder all of the new people since they have effectively replaced one gang with a different gang.

All in all it was his first venture into making some actual money and putting his skills to the challenge. He's probably not going to assist in the act of creating any new gangs from this point forward, but as for his future, who knows what he'll get up to.

Murder. He'll get up to murder.

My name is Ryan. I like to play video games and Dungeons and Dragons and all kinds of other cool stuff. I also like to write. This is my website, it's nothing special, but I write about topics from time to time that probably make no sense. But if you think they do make sense, then hang around and check out some other articles. My friends call them "blogs" but goddamnit I've got a URL and everything, so they're "articles".

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