Ten. Thousand.

Yes, I know how obnoxious this "style" is. I think it's funny though, so I'm going to keep doing it.

Oh boy. How the time flies. Just a little over 2 years ago I made what was originally going to be a blog about the political landscape of DUST 514. It was going to be a real "words from the street" vibe to it, having to do with the happenings and goings-ons. I wrote a little about the general idea in the reminiscent/failed podcast co-op post.

That post was fairly melancholic in tone. Brushing up against the failure of DUST 514 and the lost innocence of a broken-cherry Podcast that ended, in tears. But this post is a celebration. An exciting check-mark on surely forever-unmet bucket list.

My hobby, a dumb little thing that looked like a hastily smashed together Metal Gear Solid fansite and online modern art project. It looked cheap, but it was mine so I had to be okay with it. The stars really aligned when I scored a very, very nice template along with my very own domain.

I felt like I could really do it. Instead of just going, eh, whatever, I'll write some stuff I don't know. I felt like I can be my own thing. I didn't really know what that meant, but I figure my perspectives and experiences are unique to me so at the very least I won't be some boring shit who complains about video games all day. Like, fuck, man, I'm SURE I could offer something? Right? I'm not completely incompetent.

I'd like to think that this special occasion reinforces that sentiment. I am my own thing. I'm not completely incompetent. And over these years, with very little of my own advertisement, I was able to amass ten thousand total views. Ten thousand people to come here looking for whatever insight I can bring. Ten thousand fans of Metal Gear wondering who the fuck this guy is for making 3 book-length articles about why Ground Zeroes sucks. Ten thousand people to come here and go "Ah shit this isn't that new-age dark erotic poetry website I was looking for!" and leaving.

But it wasn't all me. I have my friends and other services to thank for that.

Giant Bomb.com, a website about video games. I have been a member of for several years. I used to post blogs there and they would get a reception, then some time into this website I decided I should perhaps post them there, as I'm sure to get a discussion going and contribute. I can honestly say I didn't do it for the views. I was challenging myself to bring well written and at the very least, not idiotic content representing my views.

And while I am my own critic and can be overly harsh on myself, no one, at any point ever, pointed anything horrible out to me. A typo here, a completely screwed line because even though I proof-read my big dumb brain sometimes skims over shit. No one ever said my shit sucked. My worst fear, rejection(I was put on the spot a lot as a child, and that has scarred me mentally) was pretty much unfounded.

I still have the fear, I probably won't get over it. But if anything, it's at least passable. And I can take that!

My next prospect was sending an email to Metal Gear Informer.com, a Metal Gear Solid fansite that is the absolute best when it comes to collecting news and information about the series, events and other related information. I had been using the site for quite some time before I even thought of making a place for myself. And after some time, the thought had crossed my mind of seeking out a potential affiliation. I figured it was a no-go, but Abraham Lincoln said you miss ever shot you don't take, so I went for it.

Much to my surprise, it actually paid off. My website was placed on their affiliated links section and I placed their link on my own website, a permanent fixture. Well, permanent until they realize how lame I am and cancel the affiliation. But self-deprecating humor aside, it was a very nice surprise.

Things were looking up. I got a review copy for Shovel Knight, an incredible retrograde platformer that I had a blast playing.

It felt like absolution. Most people would scoff, but that little indie game made me feel great. And not in, you know, like a "you gave my tiny hodunk website a review copy so I have to give you a good score" kind of thing, more like a "I can do something here. I have some power" kind of thing.

The fact that I was able to actually acquire a domain like Words That Kill feels like striking gold. Not only is it a really good domain name but it's also a reference to the MGSV song "Sins of the Father". And so once MGSV comes out and Sins of the Father starts getting played around, I can't help but imagine my site will blow up. I mean I'm already the number 1 google search result for "Hideo Kojima Face Scan Kaz Are You Okay?" so clearly I'm nailing it.

Ultimately, I am just really, really happy with how this website has gone. I was able to make something organic, that grew on its own. Without me coming in and forcing somewhere or killing it altogether, like my podcast. But let me tell you something, brother jack dude! Podcasts That Kill will ride again... One way or the other, I will revive that fucker and light up the podcast night.

And it's all thanks to you. Whoever actually comes here, whoever actually reads what I have to offer, whoever can put up with the typos and dumb jokes, thanks. Here's to 5 more years because that's when my domain runs out!

Also I updated my banner. Now it looks super fly. Whereas before it was just fly. But you know how it is.

My name is Ryan. I like to play video games and Dungeons and Dragons and all kinds of other cool stuff. I also like to write. This is my website, it's nothing special, but I write about topics from time to time that probably make no sense. But if you think they do make sense, then hang around and check out some other articles. My friends call them "blogs" but goddamnit I've got a URL and everything, so they're "articles".


  1. atta boy my son, I knew u had it in ya

    1. It was all thanks to the strength you gave me dad!