I saw Age of Ultron and it was incredible, but not how you'd think

And it's all thanks to D.D.P Yoga!

No, it's not a movie review. I just had to talk about this shit.

I saw The Avengers: Age of Ultron on opening day, er, night, after spending the entire goddamn day running back and forth across Kentucky, Ohio, and Indiana in what had to be the most complicated road trip in recent memory.

After finally making it to the theater, we were informed that it was sold out in non-3D formats. I don't like 3D so I wasn't about to watch it in something that would make my eyes hurt so I said no and we(Me and my uncle) ended up having to go back to Kentucky to another theater. And when we finally got there, it was also sold out in non-3D formats. Except it was also sold out in IMAX-3D so we had to watch the ghetto ass last gen regular 3D shit.

So we get there. Buy the damn tickets and get ready to see the movie. Even though we had about a half hour to go it felt somewhere closer to 2 weeks. Time had practically come to a standstill waiting for even the previews to start. It was also a pretty active audience. A lot of people were talking when they probably shouldn't have been. Which was, I think a good thing. My uncle likes to talk a lot too during movies so he'd have to competition at the least.

That's when I noticed the people behind us. The entire row was filled up, maybe they were all together. Hard to tell. Basically, every time something cool happened in the movie this guy would, very clearly, yell "SWAG!". Let me tell you, it was fucking annoying. But only exactly 3 times. Because for the rest of the movie it was like a treat given from the gods of absolute hilarity.

When Captain America did some crazy flippy shit with his shield, the guy behind us, who from now on I will refer to as Swagster Jones, would go "OOoohh look at that crazy shit! Swag!!" Or when Hawkeye would say something funny, "Huehuehue! Swag!" Or when something crazy and CG-as-FUCK would go down, you guessed it "Crazy shit SWAG!" The entire Hulk Buster sequence was filled with as many "Swags" as there were "fucks" in Scarface. It was great.

It was funny, we all laughed. Sometimes I didn't know if we were laughing at the disjointedly-comedic movie or the guy reacting behind us. And, curiously enough, the guy beside me seemed to get really offended when my uncle came back from his bathroom break and asked me to tell him what he missed, which made no sense to me because he was talking through the whole goddamn thing too. But no matter how hot tensions got between us, Swagster Jones was always there to lift our spirits and remind us to keep our eyes on the crazy shit, and also, swag.

It was a great movie. James Spader played an incredible Ultron, The Vision was fucking cool, they figured out what to do with Hawkeye(Who stole the fucking movie by the way. He was great) and also someone finally remembered to call War Machine this time around. It also managed to completely change up the Avengers lineup in a really exciting way. Really, it just made me excited for the future. But regardless of where The Avengers ends up going, I really hope in some way, some how, me and Swagster Jones will reunite. Or, if you will, assemble.


My name is Ryan. I like to play video games and Dungeons and Dragons and all kinds of other cool stuff. I also like to write. This is my website, it's nothing special, but I write about topics from time to time that probably make no sense. But if you think they do make sense, then hang around and check out some other articles. My friends call them "blogs" but goddamnit I've got a URL and everything, so they're "articles".

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